Twilight's Playground
by Swamp angel
Summary: Seras wakes up as Alice, in a place that one might call Wonderland. But as she and the rest of Hellsing slowly become aware of how deep in trouble they are, they also realize that they may have no more choice but to deal the cards and play the game...
1. In Dreams it Came

**PROLOUGE  
**

**In Dreams It Came **or **"Begin at the Beginning..."**

In which there is something in the ground , and it's disrupting the night...

* * *

There was something underneath the ground. Something dark. And huge. 

There was something underneath the ground and it was creeping. It was crawling. It was creeping and it was creeping creeping crawling…

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Integra Hellsing stepped out of her bathroom, wearing pale blue pajamas that complimented her eyes more than she'll ever care to notice. She yawned. It was time for bed.

It had been a long night. The soldiers had pursued two grade B vampires through the entire countryside for what must have been the better part of four hours, until by the grace of the lord, one was nailed by a chance shot from Officer Victoria and the other one was finally subdued by Alucard. She had lost her voice screaming over the phone by that point. It had been a very long night.

She took off her glasses and walked to the Queen size bed she owned, setting the spectacles down on a side table. She rubbed her eyes.

My god, she was tired.

She was a knight, it was true, but even the most valiant warriors needed some shut-eye every now and then. Integra sat on the bed. It creaked under her weight.

She was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

And it creeped, and it crawled, and it creeped, it creeped, it crawled…

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The Hellsing barracks was no place for a light sleeper. Every possible kind of snore there was on earth and indeed, outside earth could be heard echoing there at night to the accompaniment of the natural evening sound.

But the Wild Geese were not light sleepers. They in fact took after the example of their much loved leader Pip Vernedad and always had a swig or three of the devil's drink before turning in. It did a hard man good, it did, and brought the sandman earlier than it would have taken without the booze although it did bring the lady Hangover in the morning, which wasn't always a good thing especially when the boss noticed.

And so the men slept and snored, Vernedad the king of loud amongst them, unperturbed and unaware…

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

And it creeped, and it crawled, and it creeped, it creeped, it crawled…

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Walter slept like a dead man – straight and unmoving, with his hands folded and with a serene expression on his face.

It did not matter how soft the bed or how cold the night air. Walter had always slept like this, and indeed he always would.

Perhaps this was tribute to the fact that he did not dream. He never dreamed. Dreaming was something unknown to Walter since times long past….

But ever now and then he'd wonder what it was like to fly, and what it was like to be an animal in the wild, and what it was like to eat the untouched and unattainable food of the gods…

He wondered…

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

And it creeped, and it crawled, and it creeped, it creeped, it crawled…

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

In his sleep, Alucard stirred.

Anyone who would pay witness to this would perhaps say, "Something is wrong. The vampire is disturbed. Something is amiss."

But just as suddenly as his body convulsed, Aluard fell back in his coffin and relaxed, with a sudden look of pure calm and quiet on his pale, demon face.

Anyone who would pay witness to this would have felt a sudden chill in the air and would have suddenly felt very, very afraid.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

And it creeped, and it crawled, and it creeped, it CREEPED IT CRAWLED.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

And in the darkness of what she thought was her coffin, Seras opened her eyes.

She sat up, unaware that she was wearing a rather old fashioned and frilly blue dress with a white apron, tied in the back with two pockets on the front and unaware that for some reason, her eyes were no longer red but blue again.

She was only aware of the vast and seemingly endless forest she had suddenly found herself in, with trees so tall they blocked out the sun and cast shadows so long, they seemed to have shadows themselves.

This was the Tulgey wood.

And as Seras opened her mouth and whispered, "Where am I?", the forest echoed the words back, the words sounding like both mocking laughter and a hopeless cry…

* * *

**Next: _Thus grew the tale of Wonderland: _**_**Thus slowly, one by one...  
**_

* * *

**Comments:**

This was an interesting concept I just whipped up while I was eating fish crackers.

I've always been a huge fan of Lewis Caroll and the concept that is Alice in Wonderland. And since I love Hellsing, I decided this should be a fun thing to do.

If the writing is very stylized, I'm sorry, but I mean it to be that way.

BTW, the 'creeping crawling' verse is blatantly ripped off of Ellen Raskin's beautiful beautiful novel "Figgs and Phantoms". And I know the past tense is crept. Shut up.  
Hope you enjoyed!


	2. Of Who and Why

**CHAPTER ONE  
**

**Of Who and Why **or **"...and thus grew the tale of Wonderland, thus slowly one by one"**

In which a girl named Alice wakes up in the middle of a dense forest, but who is she really? Meanwhile, other people start waking up all around this strange land.

* * *

She was running. 

When she had first woken up, she was actually kind of confused. It had seemed to her, for unseen reasons, that she was in a large, blacker than night wood. At first she felt helpless. Afraid even.

But then she remembered her name.

And it all came back her.

So now she was running. Chasing. Chasing the white rabbit, a tired, twig-breaking wreck.

It had brought her here after all, she surmised, maybe it could get her out.

Her name was Alice. She was chasing the white rabbit.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

He was walking.

When he had first woken up, he was actually confused for a moment. But it was only for a moment, and the moment passed. Vampires, after all, by nature, have a certain awareness for all things, great or small regardless.

And so now he was walking at an infuriatingly leisurely pace, his shoes trip-trapping on the ground as if there was nothing wrong.

But what he was really, really doing was eavesdropping on the trees.

Trees spoke slowly, in the very oldest of ancient languages, in tones that were carries and sustained by the wind and leaves. Their voices were the sentiments of the earth and the long lost echoes of the sky, and their songs were the songs of all-life and never-end. Alucard, in all his years of unliving could never really get the hang of speaking their tongue, which was, in his opinion, a great pity. However, much to his consolidation, he could somewhat sense what they were saying.

And right now, the trees were passing this on amongst each other –

_The roots are afraid. There is something in the ground. And it is coming._

And this was disconcerting Alucard, more than he cared to admit.

Trip trap. Trip trap.

Eventually he reached the lake.

He knew what was going to take place here now. He couldn't help but chuckle. From the very moment he woke up, he had sensed her presence. And now. Now, he could actually hear her.

Panting, heaving, out of breath.

He grinned to himself, the pearl white teeth glinting in stark contrast to the black of the forest.

"Police girl." He whispered.

Trip trap. Trip trap.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Eventually, she reached the lake.

She stumbled clumsily over to the waterside, and there, let her legs give way.

Alice collapsed, heavily. She was absolutely exhausted.

And now that she was taking the time to observe the way she looked – each dirt smudge, each branch cut, each clothes tear – she was disgusted at how filthy she was.

_And not only that_, she thought viciously to herself, _you let that blasted white rabbit get away as well!_

Now that was true, without a doubt.

It was about a few minutes away from the pool from the lake that it happened. She was in the process of chasing it when the white streak suddenly darted into some bushes, and thereafter disappeared without a trace, much to the poor girl's bewilderment and dismay.

"My goodness!" she cried out loud, to the universe in general. "What is to become of me in this state?"

In the shadows, something like a grin flashed for the shortest of seconds. Alice didn't notice.

Alice was quite close to crying at this point. She was tired, and lost and wanted very much to go home. Not to mention she had this lingering, terrible, nauseating feeling that she was forgetting something very important.

She groaned.

The blonde did her best to buck up. _The British never back down_, she told herself, _and so you should have no reason to._ _Be strong girl! You'll find your way out. Somehow._

She tried her best to force a smile to suit her forced disposition.

Something in the shadows sniggered. Alice still didn't notice.

She made some mental notes of the three biggest problems that she was being faced with at the moment. Number 1, she was beyond filthy. Number 2, she was hopelessly lost. Number 3, she was totally, totally confused. Number 4, she had to remember what exactly it was that was nagging at the back of her head.

She groaned again, long and loud.

_Oh well_, she thought weakly, _I might as well solve the first part, right_?_ Right._

Very slowly and making careful not to hurt her garment anymore than it already was, she kneed her way over, very close to the water, right to the place where it kissed the ground.

Delicately as she was taught, she dipped her pale white hands into the frigid water and splashed some of it onto her face.

She felt the droplets slide down her cheeks and she breathed in deeply –

And froze.

Did she just see…?

She rubbed her eyes.

She looked again.

And it was exactly like her eyes had caught it. Her reflection. It was wrong.

The clothes were exactly right – the color, the petticoats, the frills. But her face! She didn't think her eyes were ever nearly this huge, or her teeth that sharp. Why, they were more like fangs! And her skin was definitely not this shade of deathly, parchment pale. And her golden hair – since when had it been cropped this short? And in such a spiky style? Her sister would never approve of such a thing. She looked completely off, completely mad and completely scared. Her face was twitching, looking at everything wrong in her features.

So much was different. So different. So wrong. In fact the only way her reflection could be this wrong was if, was if, well, was if –

She wasn't Alice at all.

And that's when it hit her.

Alice? _ALICE_?

She bent down and all but dunked her head into the water.

Splash, water hit her face, making her cold but waking her up.

Oh lord, how could she be so stupid! How could she be so absolutely, unadulteratedly moronic!

Something – something that was going to get very hurt, very soon, she promised it that – had messed with her head! Something had made her think that for the past hour that she was some prissy, pretty, simpering heroine from some fairytale storybook. And what was worse, she had actually succumbed to it!

She slapped herself. Of all the dumb things you can do, girl, you never let something take over your mind! Her master had taught her that a million times!

Splash.

How could that have happened? How could someone had infiltrated her subconscious defenses so easily and so cleanly, she hadn't even noticed? How? She was a _vampire_, for god's sake, not some mortal commoner!

She slapped herself again.

How could she be so stupid?

She was in a world beyond angry now. Her anger on whatever this being was when she'd finally find it, she decided, would make vesuvius look like a tea spill

Alice! Alice!

How in the world did she ever even think she was even named that? Alice?

"My name is Seras Victoria!" she screamed out loud.

"And thank god you finally remember."

Seras, at the realization, had had an explosion of rage and frustration just waiting to be let out, but even it released itself into quiet at the sound of the voice.

Seras, her hair still dripping and hr cheeks still glowing red, dropped her fists and turned her head ever slowly to the left.

Sitting next to her, swishing it's tail as if it had just sighted easy prey was a huge, sleek, black cat.

And it's eyes were red.

And it was grinning.

"Hello, Seras." It purred. "Welcome down the rabbit hole."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_Walter opened his eyes._

_It was very strange, he thought._

_He was seated at an exceedingly long table with all kinds of strange cutlery, all stacked up on one another with steaming quantities of a certain liquid brimming over their edges._

_He looked down at himself to find that he was wearing a strange but exceedingly elegant midnight blue tailcoat with a strangely glinting ruby pin on his collar and alternating black and white pants in strange patterns, almost like hidden portraits if only you squinted._

_He looked up at the sky to see that it was a strange shade of purple._

_He looked at his two companions. One was sleeping, and strangely enough, he had a slight recollection of the other one being dead._

_Walter knew that there was something strange going on._

_He touched the table._

_He fiddled with his monocle._

_He felt his hair. _

_And what makes this even stranger, he thought absently, is that I don't find it strange at all._

_

* * *

_

**Next: _"...Curioser and Curioser!"_**

**

* * *

**

**Comments:**

Haha. Moved the comments down here.

Okay. I'm actually really pissed right now because I revised this entire chapter just to have the computer die on me. Then I had to revise everything aaaall over again so if I missed a grammatical error or two, please bear with me!

This chapter is mostly narration and hardly any action. It's meant to just set the foundation of the story after all. Except I'm not too happy on my writing on this one. It's a bit shorter than I would have like it to be and I so feel like it's overstylized. I may just rewrite it in the near future. :-/

Thanks to everyone who reviewed the prolouge by the way - reviews motivate me to polish up the storyline and to update quicker, so yeah, thanks again. Reviews and constructive criticsm are absolute love.

I really have to sleep. I have swimming trianing at 10 in the morning tomorrow...

And is Trip Trap and actual stepping sound? I really have no idea.

Hope you enjoyed!


	3. A Cheshire present, a demon lurking

**CHAPTER TWO  
**

** A Cheshire present, a Demon lurking **or **"…Curioser and Curioser!"**

In which the man playing Cheshire cat gets right down to the nitty gritty of it all and tells the girl playing Alice what's up and what exactly she has to do

* * *

Seras stared at it, wide eyed. 

It was a cat indeed, bigger than any ordinary housecat, with a black and white stripe color combination that Seras didn't think occurred in nature unless something had gone horribly wrong in the gene pool. Ang again. It was huge. The size of a leapard, maybe, or a tiger. All in all, it looked like the kind of feline that got what it wanted, when it wanted. And right now, it seemed to want something from her.

And it was grinning at her. Menacingly. With terrifically sharp teeth to boot.

Oh yes. And it talked.

Seras couldn't remember the last time a cat had grinned at her. Maybe because cats, by the order of the great, indomitable mother nature, in fact, did not grin.

The young vampire backed away from the cat, slowly. She wasn't entirely sure what it was going to do, but if it was going to pounce, she wasn't entirely sure she'd be able to handle it. She was still groggy from realization after all.

"Hello Seras," it purred, "Welcome down the rabbit hole."

Seras meant to scream. She really did. However the sound traelled up her chest and caught in her throat and what came out instead was a tiny, terrified, unbelievably, high- pitched squeak.

At the sound, the cat stopped smiling. It rolled it's blood red eyes at her with a face more sarcastic than Seras thought cats were capable of. "Oh please," it said, "what in hell's name was that? You're a vampire for God's sake. You could have _some_ dignity."

Seras stared at it, halfway to another sort-of-scream. She knew that tone of voice anywhere.

The cat was flicking it's tail back and forth, though in annoyance this time instead of playfulness. It was emanating the question "Well?" so strongly, Seras half expected herself to automatically burst out, "Well what?"

What she did though, before doing the above, which would have been bloody embarrassing, was slowly rub her eyes with her still wet hands.

She blinked.

And suddenly the image of the animal blurred into nothing but strips of colors and shapes. They jumbled around for a while, a living, discombobulated jigsaw puzzle – the shades of black and red and the flecks of white swimming through the air, experimenting with figures and forms before finally finding the right one, coming together to form the not so clear but clear enough shillouete of a person.

She rubbed her eyes and blinked again. And blinked again.

Now the cat was completely gone. What was left standing next to her, hands in his pockets, the question, "Well?" still plastered onto his pale, sharp features was –

"Master," said Seras.

Alucard smiled, no teeth this time. "Ah, so she remembers. Well, that's good. You know for my sire, you're actually incredibly slow."

"Master!" she said again, disregarding the insult, "There is something terribly terribly wrong happening. I mean, when I woke up, I thought I was a character named Alice from some really old surrealist novel that I know of, and I was chasing this white rabbit, and that kind of thing never really happens normally in dreams, well not for vampires anyway, the forgetting who you actually are and thinking you're someone else, I mean do vampires really actually dream? But anyway, the rabbit suddenly disappeared and then I'm here in the pool and then I saw my reflection and it looked wrong and I knew it was wrong and well, umm…."

Alucard was staring at her, eyebrow raised to the zenith of his forehead.

Seras felt the blush rise to her cheeks before she could recover. "Um, er, well, what I mean to say, master, is, er, um…Master, what's going on?"

Alucard nodded in approval to the conciseness of the question and turned to face the lake.

Seras took the moment to look him up and down from her sitting position. He was not wearing the standard red coat garb, much to her surprise. At the moment he donned, with the utmost charm and confidence anyone could, a magnificent black pinstripe suit, complete with shiny, black, pointed shoes. It seemed as if aside from the gloves, his look had gone over a complete overhaul. In fact, for anyone that didn't know him personally, he would have been perceived as a perfectly respectable gentleman – except, of course, for two cat ears sticking out of his dark, unruly hair and a long black tail stretching from his backside, swishing.

Seras stared incredulously.

"Master?" she said.

"What?" he said.

"You're a cat? Wait -- you _were_ the cat? The big one?"

He turned to her. "A Cheshire cat to be exact, but yes, I am a cat. And I was _the_ cat. I woke up this way as you did Alice. I'm surprised it took you this long to notice."

Seras tried not to be insulted again. Alucard went on.

"To answer your question, Police girl, answer me this. What have I told you about demons?"

She was caught a bit off guard by the sudden inquiry of such an off question, but she answered. "That they all come in different shapes, with different abilities and will always have different intentions?"

Alucard looked like a proud father for about a split second, but it passed. "Very good. You remembered. Well, anyway, I have reason to believe that we have just been pulled into your dreamscape by some foul humored demon or other."

Seras stared at him. "What?"

Alucard looked at her, counting the seconds it took for her to understand.

Finally, after several false starts, Seras stammered, "Drea…Demon…wait…we? Who's we? You and me?"

This time, Alucard was genuinely surprised. "You mean you can't sense them?"

For an answer, Seras gave an embarrassed shake of head.

"The rest of Hellsing is here," the elder vampire stated bluntly, "pulled into different roles in this story you're dreaming about, just as you're Alice, and I'm the Cheshire puss."

Seras took some time to digest this before asking her next question.

"Demon? What demon?"

Alucard answered. "Dream demons. They enter the mind of their host, twisting the dreams into compexities and stories of their own liking, and sometimes they get other people involed as well. There are many different kinds. Some do it just for the fun of it all. Some do it out of interest, to observe, and to leave once they're curiosity is satisfied. Others, however, for questionable motives, do a lot of damage to their hosts."

"Damage?""

Alucard shrugged casually. "The loss of dreams completely, insanity, incapacitation…" He watched for her reaction. "…death."

Seras expected he was watching. She had put on a very calm, understanding exterior, however underneath the multiple layers of frill and skirt, she could feel her knees starting to shake.

She swallowed so her voice wouldn't crack as she spoke. "But what in the world makes you so sure that I'm the host right now, if there's a demon at all? What if I'm just getting pulled into some other Hellsing member's dream, ever think of that?"

Alucard smirked in an infuriatingly superior way. "You better believe there's a dream demon in here, because I'm pretty sure that you can sense it too." She aveted her eyes. It was true. She _could_ sense something off.

"...and a very good question, Police Girl." he went on, "And the answer is this. First of all, you're playing the main character. And second, the metaphor fits."

"Metaphor?"

"You'll figure it out eventually."

Seras clutched her head. She believed him. His explanation was in lack of any solid, undebatable evidence but she believed him. She could feel it in her bones. She was the host. She was the one dreaming. The one putting everyone else in mortal danger. The one in huge danger herself.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god," She whispered quietly. "We've got to do something."

Alucard heard. "Why?" he ventured.

"Why?" she very nearly screamed. She shakily got to her feet, her hands indignantly bunched up into fists. "Is that even an actual question?"

"Well when the demon gets it's business over and done with, it'll leave – poof – without a trace," he said, rubbing some invisible dirt off his suit.  
The nonchalance was angering her to no end. "Business? Business? What then if it's so-called business is to kill me!?"

The left cat ear wiggled slightly like it was waving at her.  
"Then it's been nice knowing you." he said.

Seras could have thrown something at him this point, but that really wouldn't have gotten them anywhere. So instead, she said, "Come on, Master. Let's look for the others. They might be able to think of something. Walter, Sir Integra – I'm sure they'll be able to come up with a way out of this mess."

"Hm," said Alucard, "bad idea. Namely because I don't know where they are – don't look at me like that, you have no idea how hard it is to pinpoint locations in erratic dreamscapes, much less dreamscapes being manipulated by a demon – and therefore you definitely can't know either. Not to mention they may have gone completely into character by now."

Seras looked at him questioningly.

Alucard explained, "Like us, they'll have found themselves in different story roles which seems to be this demon's sick little fetish, but since they're human, they will have less resistance to the demon's powers and will have succumbed completely into their roles. And since we're playing Alice in Wonderland right now…I can't guarantee that that'd make it any easier. So I'll say it again – bad idea."

He grinned at her again. It was unnerving.

Seras was panicking now. "Then let's kill it!" she just about squeaked.

"Better idea," her master said, "Excellent idea, in fact. Only one hindrance. Neither of us know where it is, and in retrospect, neither of us know how to kill it."

Seras bit her lip. This was insane. For one, there was this demon thing riding her dreams like she was a willing, saddled horse and she couldn't do anything to stop it. For another thing, her master didn't even seem to begin to care that she could just possibly die in the next few hours or so. She couldn't understand. She was his fledgling. He should have at least _shown _some sign of caring.

Of course, she voiced neither of these facts out loud. Again, bloody embarrasing.

"So what do you suggest I do?" she finally managed to say.

The elder vampire turned his eyes onto her in an expression that looked like he thought that this was the first intelligent thing that had escaped her lips since they started talking.

He took both hands, both gloves, out of his pockets and adjusted them like he was a magician about to perform a trick. He sharpened his red gaze at her.

"What you're going to do, little Ms. Victoria, is, again, since neither of us know what to do, is go on with the story. You're to go on playing Alice. You will finish this novelty play."

"Why?"

"Because if you do," his tail flicked in the air sharply, "well, the way I see it, there are only two probabilities. A, you will find a clue as to how to solve this problem of ours, or, even better, find exactly where this peculiar dream demon is so we can send it to the nether worlds where it belongs. Then we all, that is to say both you and me and the rest of Hellsing, wake up unscathed. B is, well, you don't."

"And what _if_ I don't?"

Alucard clapped his hands together. "Then you won't. Then you won't wake up. And perhaps neither will anyone else. Ever."

They were very quiet for a moment.

Then Alucard suddenly grinned again, that menacing cat grin of his, and said, "Well then Alice, what are you waiting for? This story isn't going to continue by itself you know."

And before any coherent sound could come out of Seras's mouth, the black suited, cat eared and tailed vampire faded away into nothing, the grin disappearing a flicker of a second later than the rest of him.

Seras stood there, unmoving, for the longest time, bewildered, more than a bit confused and beyond scared. Go on with the story? Sure she would. She could do that. Easy. That and keep her eyes open of course. For clues. Or for the demon. That might kill her. And all the people she called friends. Yes.

She put her hands on her white aproned waist and looked sternly down at her own reflection in the pool – her reflection, not Alice's. It looked back, just as serious.

"There's just one problem," she whispered, her headstrong confidence deflating a bit, "it's just that I was just a little kid when I watched Alice in Wonderland. I've never even read it. I have absolutely no idea what happens next."

His invisible cat ears heard, and his invisible mouth spoke. He said, "Why, you nearly drown of course. Now go get that dream demon."

And Alucard's invisible, shiny, pointed black shoe came into contact – hard – with her back and – SPLASH – there was nothing but ripples.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_Pip opened his one good eye._

_He rubbed his head. Whatever he was feeling right now, it was worse than any hangover. He looked around, not particularly sure of where he was._

_He was in a long, relatively empty hallway. A line of red marble columns, each with a rose border on their center, lined the walls. Each of the pillars reflected on the floor, which was tiled with nothing but glass, reflecting the roof as well. The roof was as dome shaped as a hallway could get and painted on it realistically was an intense, bloody war, caught just right in shocking hues of black, red and white. What stood out the most about it though, was a woman painted on the foreground on a reared horse who had her sword drawn proudly in the hair, her hair flying in the wind wildly, her eyes shining, and her shield having a cross emblem. She seemed about to crush an enemy soldier underneath her soldier's hooves.  
People usually presumed the woman to be Joan of Arc and the battle to be the crusades. They were wrong of course. The woman was an impression of the queen when conquering Wonderland during the Great War of the Suits.  
_

"_Ah," said Pip, "East hall. I must have fallen asleep while patrolling or something."_

_Now anyone who knew Pip and would have seen him standing there in the so-called East Hall would have commented with pure puzzlement that he had never been the type to wear so much ruffles in plain daylight, and that he was also never the kind of person to be so orderly as to replace his unruly, typical braid with a long, neatly-brushed ponytail. Simply, the person would hae commented that he looked very, very different.  
_

_Actually, even Pip himself felt a bit uncomforable. _

_Perhaps, even under the dream demon's spell, the strong minded, foolhardy Pip would have noticed the difference, for he knew himself better than any other. He might've been one of the very few people to ever break out of a Dream Demon trance without any supernatural abilities to his name…_

_ Perhaps.  
_  
…_but then he smelled it._

_His nose wiggled in pure delight as he almost visible smell of the East end kitchen wafted into his nostrils.  
"What is this delectable aroma?" he whispered, entranced.  
He leaned in that direction to get a better whiff. "Ohhhh," he said, sniffing, "sweet pies and tarts. And chocolate pies, sweet as sin. Oh lordy."_

_He completely forgot that he had felt strangely dressed a moment ago. The sweetness was all that mattered._

_And suddenly, his feet had a life of their own. He started walking towards the kitchen, his steps echoing endlessly off the grand lady's neverending crusade and it's reflection._

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Alucard stared at the bubbles erupting out of the pool – all that was left of Seras.

He had read the book some time back, before he was put to sleep, and the memory of it remained a bit hazy. However he did remember the Cheshire cat. He had found it very interesting. It was an animal with the ability to disappear, telling nothing but truths to the poor little girl named Alice, but these truths were what was confusing her so.

This was his role now. To confuse the girl with the truth. It seemed strangely apt, he had to hand it to the dream demon.

Undutifully though, he had lied thrice to Seras while she had still been around asking questions.

One, he did know exactly what kind of dream demon they were dealing with, and he knew exactly where it was at the moment to boot.  
Two, he knew exactly where the rest of Hellsing was at the moment, and which characters from the novel they were playing. Dreamscapes were hard to manage, but not _that_ hard.  
Three, he knew just what Seras had to do to wake up safely. And it did concern killing the demon. But not totally.

He sighed, becoming visible again and subconsciously swishing his tail.

He really could have just came out and told her all of this. They all might've been awake and laughing about it by now.

He grinned then, a grin that would have put the original Cheshire to shame. He blurred from suit to colors and back in cat shape, he slinked away from the pool, deeper into the Tulgey Wood.

But where would the fun have been if he had done that?

And he sang softly to himself..."Into the hole again, we hurried along our way, into a once-glorious garden now seeped in dark decay..."

* * *

** Next: **_**"...the Best way to explain it is to do it yourself."**_

* * *

**Comments:**

I have now decided that as tribute, every chapter will have at least one quote from not only Alice in Wonderland, but American Mcgee's Alice as well.

I was actually thinking of ending it with one more scene with Seras but then when I typed it up, I thought "OMFG, it's freaking long", and this ending, now, is enough of a cliffhanger to be satisfying at the same time.

Sorry if it's so long. kowtows

A lot of questions and answers in this chapter. Haha, way too much dialogue, acutally. Sorry for that, but I was itching to update before leaving for a China vacation with my family next week. Anyway, people waiting for grotesqueries of sorts should hold up till next chapter -- that's when I plan to start putting in all the serious wierd.

Does anyone else think Alucard would be seriously hot in a black pinstripe suit and cat ears?

Again, reviews are love. Review please, especially if you long for quicker updates. 8 3


	4. Drowning, Burning, Freezing

**CHAPTER 3  
**

** Drowning, Burning, Freezing** or **"The best way to get it is to do it yourself!"**

Wherein Seras - not Alice - coughs up water, encounters a strange masked, man and the last member of the cast wakes up

* * *

She was drowning. 

The water held her firmly in its cold, formless embrace. She tried her best to slip out of it, but it was no good. It kept catching her again, bringing itself closer to her, closer than she could bear.

The water was so heavy, and she didn't know why. Her eyes widened. She felt her lungs swelling to purple, about to explode. She needed air, she needed air, she needed air, and she needed it now.

Her legs kicked wildly, her arms flailed upwards.

But it wouldn't let her go.  
The light seemed so far away.

Her legs kicked wildly, her arms flailed upwards amidst the swirls of cloth, because all that existed was the pain in her lungs and the screaming in her brain…!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

And finally, she broke the surface, throwing herself upward dramatically. She made a loud, hoarse, audible gasp.

And then she lay there, stagnant, floating.

She closed her eyes and recalled. Her master had pushed – no, kicked, by the feel of the pressure – her into the water.

The vampire shook her head then, and gazed up into the sky, the water swimming about her and buoying her randomly, without effort. The sky was an interesting shade of plum purple. There were three blazing suns, that, somehow, she could look at without needing to shield her eyes. She sighed and thought back to her master. She couldn't blame him, but perhaps he himself had never known the feeling of swimming in a vast turbulent ocean in a huge petticoat with frills. If the oppurtunity would ever arise, she would take it unto herself to enlighten them.

She breathed in and out, and in again.

"Where to now, Seras?" she whispered quietly.

She tipped her head on all sides, observing. There was a dark shadow, misty, but obviously a shillouete of a solid to her left.

She breathed in.

Then she began swimming.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

She might have been swimming for hours, or perhaps only seconds. Time was relative in the dreamscape, only subject to the mind of the dreamer.

Seras, the dreamer in question, didn't really care how long the swim had lasted, only that it was done.

She crawled onto the beach on all fours and then threw herself face up on the place the bank was out of reach of the waves.

The sand was enigmatically soft but firm, supporting her weight, not letting her sink into it at all, a repelling effect somewhat. The opposite, she thought vaguely, of the water that so demanded her attention.

Above, the trees were palms and coconut, casting long shadows above her as threateningly as the pine and elm from before – she was still in the Tulgey Wood it seemed, just in another section of it.

She lay down and soaked the shade, relaxing her aching, sore and sick limbs. She felt the exhaustion flooding her.

Then very quietly, she began to sob.

"Are you alright? You're dripping wet like a dead witch on a ducking chair."

Her eyes snapped open involuntarily.

The man was tall, toweringly so. He was thin, and his hands, folded in the front, were thin like the rest of his body, and deathly pale like marble. The suit he was wearing was interesting, certainly – the pants were a midnight blue like a storm, and were the same color as his long swallowtail coat, embroidered with brighter blue velvet swirls and spirals that danced around his clothes in the most confusing ways. He had blindingly bright gold cross tie pin that begged attention against a red scarf-tie. A lose silver-blonde ponytail hung over his shoulder. The most interesting thing of all though, was what was looking down at Seras was not a mad face, or a concerned face, or a face at all. Against his deathly white cheekbones was a mask, painted perfectly to every detail and every shape along with the curving beak – a dodo.

Seras couldn't help it. It came out before she could stop it. She shrieked.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!"

It jumped back from her, appalled. She didn't need to see the face to tell he was.  
"Well, you seem fully functional. Your voice anyhow," it muttered.

The girl sat up, her wet body leaving a temporary shadow on the pale purple sand. She turned to the man in the dodo mask.

"Who are you?" she whispered quietly.

The person in the mask straightened up suddenly. If he wasn't wearing that bird mask, he's probably be raising an eyebrow, Seras thought.

"Who am I?" it muttered, "Who am I? Oh, shame on you, lady, for not knowing who I am. A great shame indeed."

Seras couldn't help but raise an eyebrow herself. Slowly, she hoisted herself up, out of the ground. She was still weary, but did not intend to show that in front of someone who could be a threat. She turned to him again.

Then, bluntly, she said, "I don't get you. And no, I really don't know you"

It flinched, annoyed. The young vampire thought, he seems a very proud person, whoever he is.

And as if being offended by her mere thoughts, he suddenly stepped forward. Three great strides and he stood inches away from her, towering more than ever before. The vampire stood there, knowing that had she not been dripping wet, she'd been sweating. He did not loom physically, however she felt herself shrinking against his aura. He gave a feeling of belittlement from his every pore. His ego shone like a lantern, hidden against the clouds of his own mask.

Then suddenly, with a flourish, he pulled out a yellow rose from out of nowhere. He took a step forward, a hand on his chest and the other one extended towards her, offering the flower. "I am," he said, with a slight Italian accent, Seras couldn't help but notice, "the Duke of Clovers."

She blinked, but accepted the rose. She rolled it about in her hands as the man stood over her expectantly. Seras was thinking now, and had a very good idea of who this man was, however the character, she could not place. She had no recollection whatsoever of any dukes in the cartoon. Only a very tiny king who spoke with a very high piched voice and who was nearly always pushed around by his Queen wife, and the man in the mask before her suited none of these descriptions.

She furrowed her brows and looked straight at him again, straight into his pointed, yellow bird eyes. She could almost imagine the person's green snake eyes, gazing at her from behind them.

And then it hit her.

It's so obvious, she thought.

"The duke of clovers," she mumbled, more to herself than to him, "Duke clovers. Dovers. Dodo. You're in hiding are you?"

The Dodo straightened in surprise and backed away, much to Seras's relief.

"So you do know of me?" he asked.

"Yeah, I guess I do." She said.

He suddenly stiffened, leaned away from her and then said, in a voice as devoid of tenderness as she had heard from him, "You haven't any weapons about you, have you?"  
"No," Seras said honestly, "No. I've only my wits. And there's hardly of those present enough as it is."

He relaxed visibly and exhaled. "Oh good." He said.

_A coward_, Seras thought, although she said, "And if I did have any, I wouldn't hurt you."

The Dodo turned to her again. He stood straight again, regaining his composure.  
"Then," the Dodo said, although carefully this time, "You are one of us?"

It did not occur to Seras to say no, but it also did not occur to her to consider her options before speaking. She had always been rather impulsive after all.Perhaps if she had, the following chain of events would not have been catalyzed, and would never have happened. She might've even found the demon and killed it, without her master's help. She might have never had to stand before the King and Queen of her mind's wonderland in defense.

But she did not consider. Again, Seras was always known to be impulsive. That was what made her a vampire in the first place after all.

"Yes," she said, "yes I suppose I am on your side."

And that made all the difference.

The Dodo showed no facial emotion, but Seras knew he was more interested than ever. She could practically smell it on him.

"You are an ally of the Black Suit's cause?" he said, "Then why is it I not know who you are?"

Seras put her hand on her hips, getting irritated herself. "Look," she said, in a strong tone of voice as she could muster, looking up at him, "Does it really matter? I'm on your side aren't I? I'm an ally. You don't persecute allies. It makes them question their own credibility, and their leader's as well. Believe me, I'm speaking from experience." She raised her chin at him and couldn't help but crack a miniscule smile. It was the tone of voice she had always wanted to use on her master.

The Dodo flinched, but did not speak. He cocked his head to the side and suddenly, more than ever, Seras felt that feeling – that sickening feeling that she was so small, insignificant, that she did not matter, that she was nothing, worth nothing, nothing but a hindrance.

She clutched her chest, her lip trembling. For a split second, she felt like screaming. For a split second, she felt like crying.

But weakness was not an option. And if she did give in anyway, her master would never let her live it down.

So just as her knees started buckling and giving way, she pointed at him.

"Is this how you treat your subordinates? With disrespect?" she hollered, a lot louder than she intended, "It's the kind of attitude that makes you change loyalties you know."

She hoped he didn't hear her voice crack at the end. By his silence, she supposed he did.

"And!" she went on, "I am wet! I am a woman! And I am wet! Don't be a bastard."

And the Dodo took a sharp intake of breath, indignant.

Slowly, Seras felt the heavy feeling lift from her shoulders. She wanted to sink down into the sand in relief. But she didn't. She had gone so far over the insolence fence that there was no point in stopping now.

"Well?" she mumbled.

The Dodo said nothing for another moment. Within his mask, Seras imagined again, the face of Enrico Maxwell, his snake features scrunching up in thought.

Then the Dodo backed away a bit and bowed, low and arching. Anyone with an expert eye would have noticed that he did it a tad bit awkwardly, as if he was more accustomed to something else, like kneeling perhaps, or prostrating himself.

"Apologies lady." The incessant Italian accent was suddenly more obvious than ever. "I am a great fool for not noticing your discomfort. By the names of the Invisible Saints, where are my manners? Come."

Seras froze.

"Um," she muttered, "I don't really go with people I don't know."

"Nonsense lady, there's nothing to fear. This is a sanctuary from the Tyranny currently presiding over our great land. And besides, just as you said, you are one of us – and to be of my rank is to know me."

"But –"

"And I'm sure my colleagues and I will eventually get to know you as well."

"But I –"

"And it's perfect. Because we were just about to start our Caucrusade as well."

Seras was more bewildered than ever. "A Caucrusade?" she said, "What the heck is that?"

And she almost felt him smile as he said, "Well, that makes it perfect as well. For isn't the best way to learn anything to do it yourself? Or in this case, together with your, as you put it, allies. So come now."

"I don't –"

"Come."

"B –"

"_Come_."

The last word raged past invitation all the way into order, like the tone of voice Sir Integra used when addressing another Knight of the Round that had just insulted her.

Seras swallowed, the shudder visible amidst her dripping clothes.

"All right." She said.

She took his hand cautiously and nearly pulled back. It was cold, his hand. So cold it made the water seem like fire. Cold like porcelain, cold like ice, cold like a long dead and buried memory.

He grasped her hand, his long fingers clenching about her, gripping her hand like a sword.

And then in the most casual tone of voice –

"Shall we?"

And he led her into the woods.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_And finally, Integral Farbrook Wingates Hellsing woke up._

_She felt horribly, like she had a hangover. Groaning, she clutched her head and slowly propped herself up onto one arm._

_Gingerly, she picked up her glasses on the side table, slipped it on. She looked into the small mirror on the same side table.  
She blinked._

"_Well that's strange," she muttered._

_Her eyesight aside, she was never the type to be sickly, but now, as she looked closer, it seemed like her right eye, normally a haunting sapphire, was now blood red._

_Integra looked around her. She was still in her four poster room, still in her room. Although something was different. She turned her head to where a large, wall to wall plain window usually was and stared incredulously. In it's place was a huge window of red glass, shaped like a heart, with a stained glass, church kind of decoration in the center that looked like a rose with a dew drop in the center. Three suns shone through the glass, bathing the room in shades of autumn._

_Integra took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes, then put them back on again. The window was still there. She looked at herself in the small mirror again. Her eyes were still red and blue._

_She frowned. "What the hell…" she began_

WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

_Integra barely had time to breath._

_With a deafening crack, a small trapdoor directly above her head opened. Three, thin robot arms shot out – two grabbed her legs, and the other two, her arms, lifting and suspending her above the bed in a spread eagle position._

_From the trapdoor a song began to play, sounding like it was played on long rusted instruments and sang by failing robots:_

Twas brillig, and the slithy toves / Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:  
All mimsy were the borogoves / And the mome raths outgrabe.

_The Knight struggled indignantly, thrashing as best as she could. "What in god's name is this? Let go of me at once!" she growled. She tried to draw her limbs towards her but the hands held firm and fast._

_Then, much to her indignation, two of the arms stretched out and began to unbutton her nightclothes. The other two, proceeded to slip off her pajama pants._

_Flustered and outraged more than ever, Integra drew in her breath to scream hellfire and damnation and all manner of curses but stopped short. _

And, as in uffish thought he stood / The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,  
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood / And burbled as it came!

_With an almost audible crackle, a pain worse than any stab wound shot through her right eye, sending her face aflame. She gritted her teeth and gasped, arching her back and writhing and squirming like mad. It hurt. It hurt and it was scratching, tearing through her. _

_She would have screamed if she could only feel her throat._

_Subconciously, she felt a heavy cloth settling around hernaked body. Frills grazed her legs and something was being tightened around her waist. A corsette, she realized. They – whoever they were – were dressing her up._

_But she couldn't open her eyes to see clearly. It burned, it froze. She was sweating, drowning in the pain._

Twas brillig, and the slithy toves / Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;  
All mimsy were the borogoves/ And the mome raths outgrabe.

_And the music stopped._

_And suddenly, the pain was gone._

_Integra relaxed, fell back. As if in response, the four arms began to lower her, gently, gently, propping her up onto a sitting position against her pillows._

_Then two of the arms descended, carrying a mirror twenty times larger than the one on her beside, and much more ornately designed. _

_Integra opened her eyes._

_She saw herself looking back, wearing perhaps the grandest, gaudiest gown she had ever laid eyes on – dominantly black and with waves of dark red and green velvet. It was laced with patterns of every kind, with pointed frills lining it's cuts and long trailing sleeves hanging down to her elbows. She was showing a lot of skin around her neck because of the shoulder cut of the dress, but whether or not she was uncomfortable could not be made sure of, for she did not speak._

_Two of the arms reached down and took off her glasses, disappearing back into the trapdoor with it. Strangely, she could still see fine without them. She still did not speak._

WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRR

_Integra did not look up but saw through the mirror. Directly above her, two more arms descended, carrying between them, a small but visibly heavy crown, just enough for the center of her head._

_She knew what was coming next. She didn't move._

_Instead, she sneered, and said, "A crown? How distasteful."_

_Then louder, so much so that it echoed around the room, "Listen you, whoever you are. I don't know who you are, and I don't what you're doing, but I do know this – when I get my hands on you, you bastard, you'll wish to God that you'd never even thought of laying a hand on me."_

_Her voice could have broken icebergs. _

_And a slight pressure upon her platinum hair and the crown was on._

_Integra blinked, one eye red, the other blue. _

_She looked at herself at the mirror again, tipping her chin to side by side, Then her lips curled into a smile._

"_Perfect" she whispered._

_And _WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIR_ the arms withdrew._

_Integra sat there a moment more, feeling a tad strange. She touched her head deftly. There was a slight migraine present. Had she drank too much wine the night before? She had no recollection. Oh well, the pain was not great. She would endure, as she had endured greater things. _

_She swung her legs over the bed, the skirt moving with it. There were two black heels waiting for her. They had ribbons from them, for the purpose of tying round the legs, like ballerina shoes did. But all Integra did was step into them, and the ribbons floated, tied themselves around her dark ankles. _

_And so Integra stood there, dressed like a queen. She breathed in, feeling fiercely wonderful, the slight headache aside. _

_She walked to her heart shaped window and looked out of the Rose's dewdrop. It was the only piece of clear glass in the entire thing, and it serves as a spyglass as well. Through it, she surveyed her gardens – abundant with fountains, statues and roses of every color, although mostly red. They stretched as far as the eye could see, bordered by the Tulgey wood._

_This was her and her brother's kingdom._

_The one they had conquered._

_Wonderland._

_There was a knock on the door._

"_Enter." She said._

_A woman opened the door and kneeled. She had brown hair down to her shoulders and wore a pure white costume, save for three bright red hearts embroidered onto her armpiece._

"_My lady," she said, "your brother, the King, is downstairs and eating his breakfast. Shall you join him?"  
_

_Integra considered. Smiled. Turned, her red eye flashing._

"_Yes, I think I shall."_

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_And somewhere, deep in Seras's mind, the Demon roared.  
_

* * *

**Next**_**: "If you drink much from a bottle marked 'poison' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later** _

* * *

_  
_**Comments:**

Yes, I changed the format of the page.

No, I'm not dead.

Yes, I know it's been two months since I updated. I'm very, very, very, VERY sorry. The school year started just when I came home from my vacation and I've hardly even had time to sleep nowadays. In fact, my exams are this week and I'm not supposed to be on the computer. But I do promise to update again by next week. I owe you readers that much.

No, this chapter hasn't been proofread properly.

Yes, my writing sucks.

No, Alucard's name was not said this entire chapter...until now.

Yes, Integra would look hot in a dress.

And yes, reviews still make me happy.


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